from Amy Winehouse’s song, which I happen to listen to right now, if anyone wonder about the similarity of the title.
and no, it’s not a review nor analysis about the lyric.
I never experience love and when I do, after some days of perfect bliss, it also brings me pain and makes me question my self.
It changes me. I am a different person, different girl.
a better one? not necessary.
I have a bigger heart perhaps, but it is also a bruised one, here and there.
I understand the pain of feeling helpless.
I experienced the “oh-so-teenage-comic” phrase of choking with your own tears.
The pain in your chest.
The feeling of tension in your stomach.
I feel that I am so stupid. why do I hang on to this?
but true, there are times when I feel so happy.
sometimes it’s not a big thing, but I still feel good about it.
God, what’s the balance in this?
Yes, I am an adult and I should take responsibility of my own action. That when I do and choose things, I know it doesn’t come without a cost.
But today, again, I feel a slap on my face.
I think I have to stop this.
Either to cut all aspects of this relationship entirely or make peace with it.
the fact is, that statement will always be there.
I wonder which action that will bring me peace in the end.
Ignore and simply forget about it?
or come to have a peace with it?
time will tell, will it not?